Della Dear – 20andfivedotcom

Dear Della

I have been dating a guy for 6 month now. Every thing has been great. He is thoughtful (he buys me flowers twice a month just because). I feel like he really listens to me. We have great conversations. A few months ago i feel the courting phase died out. We stopped going out on as many dates but we still met up and spent time with one another. A week ago we were talking and he told me “If I were a better man you’d be perfect for me”. He cancelled a date on me but we spent time together the next night. He cancelled again on me a few days ago now he seems to be MIA. What gives?

Dear Miss Givens (not Robin)

You have done absolutely nothing wrong my dear. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. You believed in this man. You trusted this man. You tried to build with this man. However this just was not the man for you. When someone tells you who they are believe them with the fullness of your heart. He showed you the representative for as long as he could then it started to wane ( a few months ago when you started going out less). He tried for you because he saw how good you were for him. My observation is that this man saw your light and your beauty and wanted to capture it. He tried to change but he realized he is not at the point in his life to be the best man for you. The way he let you know was immature but at least he let you know. Sometimes men/ people aren’t the greatest communicators and you Sweetheart should just forgive him and move on. Thank him for the good times and wish peace&blessings. You are not at fault in any way. Trust your instinct a little more next time. Keep your head up Queen, your King is coming

Della Dear

We’ve been dating for 6 months and he’s wonderful but a little two faced. He seems to shut on and off at random intervals. The first few times I shrugged it off as him not wanting to get too attached to me too fast. That I can understand. The 5^th and 9^th times it seems he has a personality disorder or a narcissist. Also I believe he’s lied to me about his name, place of employment, housing situation, etc. We met on a dating app what did I expect right?

-Dizzy

Dear Dizzy

I empathize with you completely my dear girl. This one has taken you for a whirl. I would not walk away from this catch (22). I would RUN. If you feel he has lied about one thing it may be a misunderstanding or he could have in fact lied. If you feel he has lied about several things (height and weight don’t really count here we’ve all fudged that for the S.O.S once in a lifetime) then he is just not the one for you. If a man fixes his mouth to lie to you about his name (perhaps it’s embarrassing) and housing situation (is living with a parent so bad. It’s very cost effective in this economy) he has something to hide. Trust is given and earned. Your title aka name is a piece of your identity and this man may be in a crisis bigger than you and I. (But that’s not your burden to bear) Lying to you is taking away your free will, Goddess. And everyone loves free will and ice cream.

Now the dating app, site, ad, etc… Don’t give up hope. In this ever changing world we seem to work more than we connect with others. Maybe take a break from that app. Maybe take a break from swiping right/left and try the real world (not the TV series). There are eligible men out there. Some of them have traits that make them sour choices but not all. For compatibility to work both individuals must understand their own needs and wants. They must find and nurture both strengths and weaknesses. Look within Queen.

XOXO Della